Monkeys, Scooters, & Statues

On the flight from Auckland to Sydney, I asked a lady for her muffin – a muffin she obviously wasn’t going to eat because she put garbage on top of it. She seemed hesitant to give it to me, but in the end she succumbed to the overwhelming pressure of my odd request. Score: 1 – nothing.

From Sydney to Bali, I asked a lady for her bun. Even though she was an old lady who bitched about things all trip long, she gave me her bun. Chalk up victory number two for food police Sheriff Kusz. 

On the next flight from Bali to Lombok, the guy beside me gave me his brownie, his bun, and he even included his moist towelette as a package deal. Hat-trick.
I’m getting pretty good at this flying stuff. Flying is wayyyyy easier when you’re not drunk/hungover. There’s next to no stress when you’re not sweating bullets from a case of delirium tremens. The DT’s used to accompany me on every flight, but “the times they are a changin'” – Bob Dylan.

Jessica and I have only been traveling Indonesia for 10 days now, but I can already tell you SE Asia is dope. Before we came to Asia, I did not know I would be wiping my bum hole with the help of a watergun. Now, I’m a sharp shooter. They might even make a movie about me: Canadian Sniper.


Personal bathroom assistant watergun.

We started in Bali – so far we’ve stayed in Kuta (the party town of Bali), and Ubud (the yogi, vegan, hippy, traveler town of Bali). I hope that last part didn’t sound offensive, but I just find that those groups of people tend to associate with each other.

Traditional Balinese dancing in Ubud. It was soooo good. Jessica and I both fell asleep during the performance and left half way through. We did like it though I swear!

Right now, we are in Lombok – an island just East of Bali, still in Indonesia. We are staying at White Rose Guesthouse just South of Sengigi, where the owners Bob and Stephanie treat us like family. Yesterday we borrowed one of their many scooters for the thieving price of 80,000 Indonesian Rupiah, or $8 Canadian per day. We are staying here for $25 a night, which includes breakfast, random snacks, and exceptional hospitality. Dinner each night costs us $4. I’d say we are getting our money’s worth.
 We were doubting the idea of renting a scooter, even though the roads here in Lombok are a fraction of the insanity of that in Kuta. They are still quite frightening. We did, however, decide “f*** it”. We heard about a waterfall an hour and a half North of us in Senaru. We drove up towards Senaru on our scooter named Scoopy. We stopped at a couple lookouts on the way.  At one of them a sketchy ass guy came up and said he would escort us on his scooter for 500 Rupiah or 5 cents Canadian. We asked if he meant 500,000 but he said no just 500. We thought that was a dope idea since we were basically just scooterizing up the West coast without direction. After we agreed he said, “how about you come stop at my house with me we can sit and have Indonesian coffee and some food before we go.” He then asked for 5,000 Rupiah (50 cents) and said that was for parking, and 500 for the tour. He had an orange high visibility vest on and a whistle, so that’s why he said we have to pay him money. We said, “anyone can get a vest and a whistle,” but he insisted we pay. Jessica and I started looking at each other and we both agreed this guy was sketchy as f***. I said to him, “we will just go by ourselves, because this is sketchy as f***.” We paid the prick, and headed off.


We soon came to a populated opening to the ocean, and decided we would take a look. We saw another guest from White Rose and talked to him about where he was going. Him and his family were about to take a fast boat back to Bali – an option Jessica and I would never have considered because we heard some horror stories about hopping on random boats out here. Plus, flights are like ten bucks more and you save five hours each way from Bali to Lombok.

This harbour was a gateway to the Gili Islands. The Gili Islands! I knew little to nothing about them, other than that they were the Gili Islands! I mean, come on! They are famous, they are the words of a magical paradise so far from Canada. I’ve heard about them in movies and stuff. They gotta be life changing!!!
We decided to change our minds on a whim. I wanted to check the islands out so we did exactly what we talked about NOT doing. We hired sketchy guys to take us on their sketchy boat. We paid three dudes $35 in total to take us to Gili Air (the island with a relaxed vibe and a bunch of yoga retreats on it).
It turns out, Gili Air was super busy, and we didn’t really like the vibe. We got dropped off around noon, and our crew was supposed to pick us up at 4 p.m. to bring us back. We were exhausted, overheated, and unprepared to spend money to have fun (i.e. drink). We hopped on the public locals boat for $2.40 and came back at 2 p.m. instead. We stayed there for two whole hours. That’s how awesome the Gili Islands were.
The only other Gili I’d like to see that I didn’t is Gili Trawangan (or “Gili T” for the white people who can’t pronounce things), but that’s mostly because, from what we understand, magic mushrooms are legal there. If we don’t conquer Gili T in this life, we will avenge it in the next. I’ve been watching a lot of Game of Thrones in our down time…
 Sometimes when you’re traveling, things don’t really end up like Trip Advisor might tell you. Maybe your friends had a blast in that place, or the ratings online about that thing were superb. That’s not always gonna be the case when you come across that place or thing, but that’s okay. If you’re having a shitty time all the time, that’s when you have a problem, and if that’s the case, I’d say it’s probably you who is the problem. It’s up to you to make yourself have a good time. No one else but you. 
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Indonesia has a ton of stray dogs, even pups like this. One of the downsides to this beautiful country.

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I like water.


Walk down every shady alley you see – you never know what magical place you’ll find.

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I take a lot of naps whilst traveling.

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A serious photo has no place in my life.


Sun = blind


Jessica getting a healthy dose of ATM.


I loved this. It’s sooooo true… when you work full time that is.



Potato Head. We went for the shutters. Don’t both going in unless you’re a baller.


I thought my parents would feel more comfortable know this is a safe place. They even have tsunami emergency pathways. Always one step ahead 😉


This photo is pretty douchey I’ll admit.


Ubud from above.


Lotus Cafe, Ubud. Lilly pads n crap.


I thought Ryan would want this at his new house, buuuuut I didn’t budget for dicks on a canvas. Sorry bro.


Met some new English pals. Good people, luscious locks I tell ya.

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Free showers!
I am not as tall as I look.
Nice time



We were made for this.

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